My, oh my!! The Holidays have whizzed by, and New Year's eve is right around the corner. Eeeek! Where does the time go? Do you have plans for New Year's, yet? (No pressure, or anything). In my humble opinion - and, even being married - making New Year's could sometimes (okay, at most times) be overrated. Because, really: Ugh. The pressure.

In fact, some of the most memorable times I've had, never involved sparkly-tiaras or stiletto heels. I have some funny stories, but for now, here's an idea of how I've spent my New Year's in the past: At home (ha! deathly sick with the flu); At the base of Pinnacles National Park, fffff-uh-reeezing my buns off, while wild boars raided our camp; In the middle of the Baja Peninsula, with no electricity, no running water, out of cell phone range, and hundreds of miles from society --- all that mattered to us was the surf and the stars and tequila to keep us warm; And my favorite story of all time...my very first year in college. Not gonna lie - it involved under-aged drinking and lots of booze. Yep. One of those nights.

So what does this have to do with love and relationships, you ask? All of these stories had nothing to do with getting that one hot date. It was all about spending valuable time with my closest friends (whom I'd call family) and now, my amazingly (freakin' awesome) husband.

Love and relationships have less to do with 'what's out there' and more to do with 'what's already inside' --- sharing that love from the inside-out, rather than seeking love from the outside-in.

I think my girl, Kate, could explain it better herself - if you are seriously wanting to spice up your life in the love & relationships arena (in a FUN way!), Kate has some wonderful insights on how you could manifest this goodness in your life!!

Pssst...do you want to know the secret to attracting love and creating amazing relationships? Let me tell you. It's actually really simple. Well, it sounds simple – putting into practice can be trickier than it seems.

Here it is: the quality of your love life (and life in general!) depends on where you choose to put your attention and how you feel right now.

Before you roll your eyes and think “well I've heard this before”, let me explain with more specific suggestions and some juicy real-life examples...

For all the singletons:

If your single and ready to mingle, don't focus too much on finding a partner. Instead, draw your future lover to you like a bee to an overflowing honeypot. How do you do this? Date yourself!

I know that sounds horribly cheesy, but it can also be very empowering. Here are some tried and true suggestions of things I do on a regular basis. I am not single but I did these things when I was single and I continue to do them now:

• Take yourself out for lunch at a fabulous restaurant and bring a trashy book to enjoy, (paranormal erotic romance always works for me!).

• Go to a late night movie alone and do not invite anyone to join you.

• When you are feeling extra brave, go out for dinner alone (bonus points if you do it on Valentines). Bring a notebook to draw and write in and flirt shamelessly with the waiter. If other diners look at you with pity, hiss like a vampire!

• Take long walks in nature and enjoy the solitude.

When you truly enjoy spending time with yourself, you radiate a sexy confidence that no mortal can resist! Why does this work? Because when you date yourself you're enjoying the positive aspects of being single and you're making yourself feel good right now, regardless of whether or not everything's “perfect”. This lights up your energy field and makes you glow seductively.

If you're in a relationship:

Perhaps your relationship is like a raw bakers potato. You want to transform it into a crispy yam fry with chipolte mayo. Here's how: focus on the positive and make feeling good right now a top priority.

Focus on what you love about your partner. It's really easy to notice flaws and annoying habits, so make a conscious effort to put your attention on the good stuff.

My partner does this thing where he puts his dirty clothes on the floor beside the laundry basket. He isn't quite ready to commit his clothing to the official dirty category just in case he decides to wear them again for some unexplicable reason. I don't understand this and it drives me nuts. In fact, I could write an entire blog post about that and how irritating it is! But I won't. Instead, I will choose to focus on the fact that he makes me a delicious breakfast of steel cut oats, sliced bananas and maple syrup every Saturday morning. Yum!

When you notice the good things, you feel better and when you feel better you notice more good things and the bad things don't annoy you quite so much.

Try this!:

• Make a list of all the things you love about your partner

• Write him/her a love note and mention one thing from your list...then decorate it with pretty drawings

• Bake a mini cake and write something hilariously corny on it, like “your my special boy!” or something chilling yet cute, like “Your mine....forever”

• Have more fun right now by transforming dull activities into “adventures”. For example, if you find that you and your partner spend a lot of time doing chores like laundry and vacuuming – try doing them naked!

What could go wrong?

I said in the beginning that this is harder than it sounds and here's why. We tendtofocus on what's wrong so we know what needs fixing. It's probably some sort of survival mechanism. If you are in a warm pool with a crocodile in it, your attention is going to go to the crocodile, not how good the warm water feels! So this tendency in itself is okay. But when we focus solely on the negative all the time, this messes things up.

Don't ignore what sucks. Use your negative thoughts and observations as a way of identifying what needs to change and what action steps need to happen. But then shift your focus to the positive.

So let's say you have identified that your partner is a horrible listener, plus he leaves his fingernail clippings on the kitchen table. Make an action plan – sign up for couples counselling to work on communication and make a request that he clip his fingernails in the bathroom. In the meantime, focus on what's working and celebrate your common interests.

Remember!

Manifesting your desires into reality is so muchfun and it should feel really good. Make this your mantra: the act of manifesting a great relationship is almost as enjoyable as having a great relationship.

This mantra will come in handy on those days when you are feeling discouraged – whether you find yourself alone in a restaurant, drawing unflattering portraits of fellow diners or at home with your partner, eating your breakfast among a sea of nail clippings.

ABOUT KATE

Kate is an intuitive Tarot reader and life coach. She teaches Tarot card reading on her popular website and is passionate about inspiring you to use your Tarot and Angel cards for personal growth and connecting with the Divine. Visit her site daily-tarot-girl.com and get your free audio download of her mini tutorial “How to Read Tarot Cards with Intuition”.